Nip
by Eykiel
Summary: The huge surprise that Phantom had been planning for was finally ready. And he knew Freud — and Afrien — would love it. What's that supposed to mean, obviously it's not a prank. (Afrien, Phantom, Freud. Oneshot)


It was finally finished — and Phantom couldn't stop grinning. He hadn't the foggiest idea how Freud or Afrien would react, but it was for him to find out. They'd love it. And he'd keel over laughing so hard he had to be carried home, all crying and messy but they'd love it. Probably. They should. He would, anyway. And if Freud didn't find it amusing, he'd just laugh the mage's share.

Not getting a wink of sleep last night didn't dampen his spirits in the least, he was so excited that he couldn't have fallen asleep even if he tried. He just paced around his room, counting down the infinite minutes. Two o'clock, three o'clock, four. Time passed by too slow on nights like these. Please, Rhine, couldn't it pass by faster? Please? Five. Half past. Six. Quarter past, half past. Quarter to seven found him in front of his clock, twitching with excitement, following the minute hand eagerly.

He was at Freud's just as the mage's clock struck seven.

But alas, calamity at Freud's place. Freud was asleep, one of the rare times that he was. Calamity, calamity — how could Phantom bear to wake him; but what of his amazing surprise? Phantom scowled slightly at the thick stack of parchments on the desk, the melted candle. There was about a third left — so Freud had stayed up until about five in the morning. And Freud was asleep, in _bed_, tucked in the _sheets_, which was an accomplishment in itself.

Phantom sulked. Well, fine… maybe the surprise could wait another time. The mage could do with some rest while he had the time… He glanced at Afrien, sleeping calmly in the front yard, scales glinting dully in the dawn sunlight.

No it couldn't.

…

A while later Phantom was leading Afrien past the fields of Henesys, smirking so hard his cheeks hurt. He glanced over his shoulder, winking at Afrien.

The dragon narrowed his eyes, but said nothing for fear of waking the Dragon Master nestled between his horns on his head, dozing lightly.

_You'll love it_, he mouthed to Afrien, grinning as he turned back and continued the march.

It was mid morning by the time they reached the field.

'And here we are!' Phantom skipped to the edge of the tall grasses and gestured. A smile any wider would split his face in two. 'Isn't it fantastic?'

_You woke Master up for him to look at a patch of grass?_ Afrien's astounded growl made birds flutter from the trees nearby in fright.

'It isn't just _a patch of grass_,' sniffed Phantom. But Afrien didn't know that. Not yet. He stroked the thin reeds with their tiny pink flowers.

'So what is it?'

He turned to see Freud on the ground, rubbing one eye. The other ocean blue eye stared curiously past his shoulder at the field.

'It's my surprise,' grinned Phantom.

Freud stumbled over to him, yawning. 'It's a patch of Reeded Galingrue, planted in a perfect circle. What about it?'

'I planned it since a moon ago,' purred Phantom. 'Planted it personally too. Afrien, go sit in the middle.'

Afrien narrowed his eyes. _I am not a garden ornament, Phantom._

'Just humour me one time.' Phantom turned to Afrien and begged. 'Please. Pretty please. I'll let your Master sleep in my very comfortable bed after this.'

Freud tutted, still trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. 'It isn't like my bed is uncomfortable.'

'Please, Afrien. _Pleeaaseeeee_.'

Afrien and Freud exchanged glances. It was the first time Phantom had ever begged anyone. And Phantom knew it'd work. He was right.

Freud shrugged, so the great dragon stood up and his great sigh made the reeds on the edge of the circle bend and sway, shedding petals. _Only this one time_, he rumbled reluctantly.

Phantom nodded eagerly. 'You'll love it. I promise. Freud, you too. I bought half an acre of land just for this.'

Afrien rolled his eyes. His huge wings blocked the sunlight as he passed, casting a shadow over Phantom and the mage watching with a cautious eye. With another sigh he lumbered over to sit in the middle of the circle, flattening the grass in his wake. (Ouch. There was a whole week's worth of work gone even before the surprise began, but it'd be worth it. Just a while more.)

He settled expectantly in the very middle, turning around to face them. There the sun highlighted the midnight blues of his scales and made the golden ridges glow a fiery golden. Damn, he was majestic.

Phantom whistled and spun around, heading back into the shade. He fished out the basket of food that he'd hidden in the bushes last night. 'Come on. It's breakfast time.'

Freud turned sharply. 'So… you dragged us out here for Afrien to sit in the middle of some grass in the sun, and for me to have breakfast on two hours of sleep?'

'Yep.' Phantom grinned and fluffed out the picnic mat, laying it on the grass a distance away from Freud. He began setting the food out. Toast, fruit, tea, jam. 'Come on.'

Afrien growled. _I'm hungry too, Phantom. I was supposed to get breakfast if not for this mysterious surprise of yours. _The dragon got up.

'No no no no please _sit,_' Phantom gestured wildly. 'Please. Just a while more.'

Afrien groaned in exasperation. More birds flew into the air as he sat heavily back down in the flowers. Pink petals flew up around him.

Freud raised an eyebrow.

'Just a _little_ while,' insisted Phantom, holding up his fingers.

'Just _ten_ minutes. Otherwise I have a meeting I should be going for.'

'Please have breakfast while waiting,' Phantom held out a sandwich. 'Here. Made it myself.'

'You didn't even spread the jam out evenly,' noted Freud, the exasperation fading slightly from his eyes as he accepted the food.

'You're welcome, dear friend,' huffed Phantom.

A minute passed in tense silence.

…

Two minutes. Afrien yawned a lot before lying down in the grass. Freud kept shooting expectant glances at Phantom, but he tried to pretend it was supposed to happen. Not that it _wasn't_. Just that the wait… was longer than he expected…

…

Three minutes. The dragon relented and held his wing up to shield himself from the strong rays of the sun. Freud had given up trying to get any hint out of Phantom and was just concentrating on getting breakfast inside him.

And Phantom was worrying if he'd gotten something mixed up.

…

Five minutes.

'Phantom…' murmured Freud, sipping on his tea. 'I think Afrien is getting impatient.'

The dragon's wing flopped down over his face. More petals flew into the air.

'You agreed to ten minutes,' Phantom looked up. 'I'm counting. Three hundred and twenty seconds as… of… _now_.'

Freud sighed. 'Honestly. This can't be what you brought us here for.'

'It is,' lied Phantom.

…

Seven minutes. Afrien let out a snore, loud and abrupt, making them jump. Even Afrien himself jumped. He blinked sheepishly, the golden sunbeams and fluttering petals making him look far less menacing than he actually was. _Sorry_, he chuckled.

Freud glanced at Phantom.

'That wasn't the surprise,' clarified Phantom.

'Well it was the most eventful thing to happen this morning.'

'So far,' clarified Phantom again.

But Freud was right.

…

Eight minutes.

Phantom got up and hurried over to the edge of the circle. Did he get the plant wrong? Wasn't something supposed to happen?

Maybe he should've checked with Freud first. He was no botanist. Hell he'd gone and done this huge stunt on a _hunch_, and maybe it was wrong.

'Time is ticking,' smirked Freud.

The smugness on his face… 'I know,' snapped Phantom.

_Have patience_, smirked Afrien from his spot in the flowers.

Phantom scowled.

…

Nine minutes.

Freud got up and dusted his hands. 'Alright, Phantom. I've had enough of this, and Neinheart awaits us.'

'But it's only been five hundred and seventy —'

'It's almost ten minutes. Nothing is happening there.'

Phantom glanced desperately at Afrien, who was coiled up tail to nose. Why wasn't anything happening? 'Afrien doesn't seem eager to leave.'

'Afrien is just dozing. Like he does when he's unamused.'

Phantom scrambled to his feet and caught up to Freud, gripping his wrist before he stepped into the flowers. 'Wait! Just one more minute! Please!'

Freud stopped but didn't turn around. 'Come on, Afrien. We're going.'

The great dragon didn't move. A slight breeze rolled around the flowers.

'Afrien?' Freud raised his voice. Still no answer.

Oh? Phantom began to grin. 'Looks like a nap was just what we needed.'

'What did you do to him?' snapped Freud.

At the sound of Freud's raised voice, Afrien twitched. The dragon's eyes snapped open, their irises dilated so much they were almost completely black, merely outlined with a thin line of gold.

'That,' grinned Phantom. Freud spun around.

…

With a chuckling rumble, Afrien flopped down on his side and rubbed his face furiously in the flowers. His breaths reverberated around the glade. His jaws were parted in a wide grin as he rolled head over heels in the flowers. Petals flew into the air and the dragon, forgetting he was in an entire field of them, reared up on his hind legs to claw at a particularly tiny scrap.

'Afrien?' Freud started forward but Phantom gripped his wrist, holding him back.

'Not too close,' chuckled Phantom.

The breeze was snatching Afrien's tiny petal away, and in a daze he spread his wings to chase it.

_Come back, _Phantom heard him whine. Then with a beat of his mighty wings that sent petals everywhere, he lifted one foot off the ground before losing his momentum and sprawling flat against the grass. He blinked blearily and his eyes widened at seeing more of the pink flowers and he let out a low rumble, rolling sideways through the glade. His excitement at seeing _so many_ of those little flowers was palpable in the air.

'What did you do to him?' cried Freud. 'He's completely out of it!'

'Surprise!' laughed Phantom.

The majestic dragon staggered to his feet and pounced on imaginary prey, scrabbling with his claws and holding it tightly to him before he lowered his head to smear more flowers on his muzzle. All the while, Afrien's voice rang in his head, a faint, slurred chant of _More, more, more_ that didn't ever change intonation while he flattened the grass and drove petals in dizzying spirals to the sky.

Afrien let out a roar that sounded more like a howl of laughter, like someone was tickling him and he was begging to stop. _Please, no more,_ he laughed, _Don't stop, wait, wait, this is the best thing ever!_ His scales were coated with a sheen of pink pollen, as were his great horns, and his eyes couldn't focus. And that goofy, dragonish smile.

_More more more more more —_

Freud doubled over and swiped at his eyes. 'Oh transcendents.'

_More! More more please stop don't stop no more more more —_

'King of the Onyx Dragons,' noted Phantom. Freud hit him weakly in the shoulder and began to laugh again.

Afrien's tail swept past then, just a few meters short of them, flattening the reeds in its path. He was a squirming, hyperactive bundle of energy, coiling and twisting himself into knots as he stretched and clawed and pressed himself into the grasses.

With another rumbling laugh, he pushed himself to his feet and surveyed the mess he'd made. A mess of flattened grass, dusted with pink, a few stray reeds peeking out at awkward angles. His dazed eyes fell on Freud and he beamed, showing off all his fangs.

The drone of _more_ paused for a while, as Afrien began to lean forward.

'Afrien,' Freud murmured, panting. 'Afrien don't —'

Phantom pulled Freud backwards just as Afrien sank to his knees and crumpled on the ground, sprawled out. The dragon's dilated eyes tried to focus one last time before they fluttered shut. One last dazed laugh was all he could manage before his head lolled, and his long pink tongue slid out from between his slack jaws.

'Afrien!' Freud cried, hurrying over to the comatose dragon. Phantom followed and sneezed as pollen tickled his nose, the fierce scent making him see stars. A strange combination of pineapple and something Phantom didn't really want to know about. Phew, it was more intense than he remembered. 'Afrien, wake _up_!'

Afrien twitched but did not stir.

'Not happening,' purred Phantom smugly. 'He's completely out cold.'

Freud slumped against the dragon's muzzle. 'So much for heading to the meeting early. I can't leave Afrien out here alone either.'

…

They settled for tea. Phantom poured it out extremely smugly, and Freud accepted it extremely grudgingly. Not only had something happened, it had happened in ten minutes, it had happened spectacularly, and it had wiped the smirk off Freud's face.

'So what exactly did you do to him,' murmured Freud. He had a handful of that pollen and was rubbing it between two fingers. 'I suppose it's the pollen of the flowers that made him do this?'

'Plus a nap,' clarified Phantom, grinning. He couldn't stop. Outsmarting a scholar was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And he'd outsmarted his dragon too. 'You were right. It's Galingrue, but cross-bred with another plant.'

'And thanks to that, I've lost an entire day's worth of work. And you've reduced Afrien to a snoring comatose thing.'

'Thanks to my months of planning and weeks of quietly planting all this Galingrue personally, yes. But you need a rest from the endless whirlwind of meetings. And Afrien needs rest too, seeing as how you take energy from him…'

Freud chuckled and lifted his cup. 'We always discuss very important things, you know.'

Afrien snored and made them jump.

Phantom purred, 'Afrien doesn't think so.'

'Afrien is _drunk_.' Freud cast a fond look at the dragon. 'Thanks to you.'

'You are most welcome, dear friend. It was just as I expected. I should become a herbalist.' Phantom preened. 'Maybe I'd be able to think up something new like —'

'Catnip,' said Freud suddenly. He sniffed at the powder on his fingers and smiled. 'Definitely catnip. You bred it with catnip.'

Phantom groaned and clutched a hand to his chest. 'I'll never completely outsmart you, will I?'

'Maybe one day,'

There was a rumble as Afrien stirred. _At last, the great drunk behemoth awakens._ The dragon pushed himself up on his arms and opened his eyes blearily. They were wild, unfocused, and slightly dilated, but some of the life had crept back into them. Phantom looked away and pretended to ignore the trail of spittle stretching between his mouth and the ground, glistening in the bright midday sun. A wonderful addition to a peaceful glade in Henesys.

'Delightful,' Phantom mock grimaced and turned away.

For the rest of his life, Phantom would swear that Freud failed to hide a snicker. 'Afrien?'

_Master… what happened?_ Afrien let out the weakest moan Phantom had ever heard.

Freud chuckled, sharing a glance with Phantom. 'Go to sleep, Afrien.'

Then nothing but a thump as the dragon's arms gave way and he sank back to the ground.

…

The envelope on the shelf is caked in dust. Strange how Phantom's room is always cleaned so often and yet the little slip of paper is always missed.

He dusts the envelope off on the edge of his table before trying to figure out what it is. There's nothing written on the top, and even if it did at one point, it'd have been faded to nought by now. Phantom sighs, reaches for the letter opener, digs the blade in, and tears the top open.

The smell of pineapples and some other tangy scent wafts out and the pungent scent catches Phantom off guard, making his eyes water. He blinks away tears and coughs, feeling a strange sense of deja vu creep up on him.

Shaking out its contents into his palm, Phantom scowls at the little pink seeds before it hits him. There was a certain someone who would be so glad to see this… Jumping to his feet, Phantom scrabbles in the shelf and pulls out another envelope, shaking out some dried leaves and pressed flowers onto the table. Pollen stains the wood.

Memories of his best prank yet sifts through his mind, and he's hard pressed to laugh out loud on the spot. His grin widens.

_Are you watching, Freud? I'm going to outsmart another Dragon Master._

'Evan… Mir… where are you?' he calls, clutching the envelope in his hand, 'I've got something you might want to see —'

…

* * *

**So this morning I spent _far_ too much time watching cat videos on youtube and found myself watching jaguars playing with catnip. One had golden eyes. And thus catnip!Afrien was born.**

**I want to see a huge dragon rolling around in pink flowers. I think it'd be so cute.**


End file.
